Monthly Archives: March 2015

Hobby #5: 50 Shades of Slack

Remember how I said I’m competitive? It’s true, I am. But I can’t stress this enough: I’m also super slack. The other night in the hot tub, Paul said that this summer would be his “Summer of Painting.” He was sort of down on himself because he also hoped it’d be his “Summer of Writing,” but he’s afraid he won’t have enough time to devote to both. To which I replied, “You can’t have all the hobbies. Why don’t you let me write, and you paint.” Because seriously, WHY DOES HE HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING?

So Paul, because he, too, is competitive (but knows I’m terrible with follow-through). said “How about this: I won’t write if you produce 50 pages. But your blog doesn’t count. It has to be something of substance and it can’t be about chickens in tutus.”

WTF Paul? Chickens in tutus is substantive. MY BLOG HAS 12 FOLLOWERS! Clearly I’m doing something right. So I immediately started negotiating:

  • Does it have to be fiction?
  • Can it consist of writing prompts I get out of a book?
  • Are we talking handwritten pages or typed?
  • Because if it’s the later, I need some formatting parameters: Single spaced? Double? Standard margins? Serif or sans serif font?
  • And if it’s the former, nobody–including myself–will ever know what it says. But if it’s handwritten, where should I write? On a napkin? In a journal, and if so, what size? You see how complicated this is?

He wouldn’t commit to an answer, so this is a call for help, y’all. What should I write? Give me some parameters. I want to see Paul’s challenge and raise him 50 pages of “I Told You So.”

Thanks, friends. xoxo


Hobby #4: Writing Letters To My Younger Self


Hey, you, skinny girl with great skin: Listen up, it’s me—your older, slightly fluffier self. I figured you could use a little guidance from you, since you probably won’t listen to anyone else. And since you probably don’t want to hear it all at one time and think us a nag, I’m going to give you advice in doses. I know you won’t take it, but hear me out.

First, a lot of bad shit will happen, and that’s ok. It makes you stronger. I know that’s cheesy, but it really does. It gives you perspective, but mostly it deepens your compassion. A lot of good shit will happen too, which will also give you perspective and deepen your compassion. In essence, you will grow, and love, and grieve, and learn. I don’t actually think you should change anything; so my advice is, in effect, don’t take my advice. But if I wanted anything for you, it would be that you become confident sooner, so here are some things that you might want to know.

  1. Don’t date that dude. You know the one.
  2. Wear the bikini. You look great in it. The phrase “muffin top” hasn’t been invented yet, but I assure you, you don’t have one. Plus, YOU’RE IN YOUR EARLY TWENTIES, so geeze, just wear the two-piece.
  3. Don’t get that perm. Any of them. You were meant to have straight hair. Accept it.


Me (you)

P.S. You’ll be pleased to know we stopped tucking our t-shirts into our jeans.